I need a chiropractor...i think

Last week i had a chat with a senior at the office, kak wan.. and termasuklah cerita my lower back is still pain since my last pregnancy. And dengan pantasnya she advised me to meet a chiropractor rather than doing massages. I cant sit for a long time no matter where i am, in the office, at home or in the car... so don't blame me for not being at my table all the time, i terpakse okay :D

Last weekend we travelled to Singapore to visit Universal Studio, half way down my pain was so severe for sitting for too long, no space to stretched my leg and body plus having a 12kg toddler on my lap. I asked my husband to stop and exchanged with me....so i drove all the way down to JB and back to KL with lean to front position (still cant bersandar because it felt like the load of my upper body compressing my lower back). How complicated right? And now my lower back is getting worse. At this moment too my crafty jobs is getting slower due to the pain.... Oh how frustrating!

 So after googled this one particular chiropractor as suggested by kak wan, i think i should make an appoinment. See how it goes ;) By the way at this very moment im updating my blogs while lying on my bed via the new ipad..haha!

Our 1st hardcopy album

Having a husband as a photographer doesnt mean you'll have the luxury of having series of printed album from zillions of photos taken stored in the hardisk. So one day (it was last year by the way), came across a discount page Milkadeal which offered 50% disc for a photo book fromPixajoy.. wut wuutt! Didn't think much and bought it!

It was a simple and fun application, i managed to finished up 2 albums in approximately 3 days (kalah team photography my hubby).hehehe. Ooo, i bought 2 albums by the way and decided to do a 1-2years old album for our Daania and our honeymoon @bali album :D

cool kan... and of course convenient, the finished album you just upload it to their server and the printed one will be courier to... Walla!

25th & 27th March

25th March : Papa's birthday
27th March : Mummy's birthday

Received a call from my dad last Sunday during my afternoon nap...the 1st sentence was "Nana tak wish papa birthday ek?" .....and i was like..alamak!! plus lalo' nak catchup what day that day was... and i said "Nana ingatttt...cuma tak sempat wish jek" (huhuhu..adoyai) But its true! i remembered on the 24th that tomorrow is my dad's birthday, but on 24th night kebetulan my husband siblings came overnight at our place and the next morning sibuk siap2kan their breakfast (which was beli aja) plus a little headache since Saturday.....i forgot to wish my dad's birthday :(

During our phone conversation, after daania sang a very brief birthday song (sebab sibuk nak main dengan cousin die) suddenly there was a long silence and i can hear my dad cries. He told me that he misses my mom alot significantly that day because they used to celebrate their birthdays together :'( 25th & 27th March, arent my parents lucky to have close birthdays.

So to cheer up my dad, i recorded a video of Daania singing Happy Birthday Tok Pa (plus ibu as suara latar..haha) and emailed to him. This was our 2nd attempt due to daania couldnt stop her hiccup during the first recording..hehe

tak sabar2 nak sebut tokpa.. :D

Today is 27th....Happy 61st birthday my beloved mummy , AL-FATIHAH

Dear hormone

Dear my leftover pregnancy hormone.... Im not pregnant anymore. Please go away so that i can have a good night sleep. Its 4 am my dear :/ im working tomorrow!

Yours sincerely,

Me

Jom meng'occupied'kan diri

This is a lagho entry by the way :D Guess what happened during my 2 weeks MC? i tried to make myself occupied by doing...... jeng jeng jeng....... online shopping n live shopping !!! ahaha, hampeh jek kan. but most of it window shopping aka cuci mata jek sbb everytime ape yang i nak dah abis stok...so sad!

Some of the stuffs that i eyed for was the jubahs by rana aswad at her fb....oohh, luv the simple modern design and the price is reasonable. I orded for this Rana Adriya, but takde rezeki dah takde stok.. uwaaaa

soo my color..hehe, i wonder if i wear it same cantik as the model

Than eyed for a denim scarf from Qaira Hijab.. a simple cut scarf for my everyday usage...pegi kedai ke, pegi checkup ke... sarung aja... too lazy to lilit2 now days kalau nak pegi dekat2 or skjp2 jek..oo this time ade stok. Yey! the quality is great and i love it

cun kan...the model pun cun

Next...a long blouse by Anne Kelly at Sogo. The most expensive blouse i ever had, the pattern and fabric is almost the same as the famous zleqha brand ( How i wish to visit zleqha one day) but looking at the price in her online store..mak datok!!! kopak makcik.

this is the anne kelly long blouse. smart kan. me and my daania catwalking while staying at Sterling Hotel@Malacca

Next lagi...bought few dresses n blouses for my lil Daania at reject shop. The dress on the top photo is one of it. murah2 aja and design pun cun. Never under estimate reject shop okay!!

Ooo...lastly i did receive my clarks shoes that i ordered thru a fren who was studing at UK, am so happy because it perfectly fit and the best part is...way more cheaper than malaysia ones even including shipping. But the trick is to pick the discount one lah! heee

originally i ordered 3 actually, but the third one takde stok... i may say the total of this 2 shoes pun even cheaper than the original price of the bottom one (azzure blossom) in Malaysia.

Now im totally understand why SHOPPING IS A THERAPY :D

What happened?

What happened since november, december, january, february, march....almost 5 months blog ni sunyi tanpa berita. But actually a lot had happened to me...

November
Celebrated my 30th birthday with my my husband & my daania on the 26th. Just a simple celebration, bought a simple cake (dah boring dengan kek secret recipe...huhu), snap some photos, makan2 kek...and walla. Ooo, and i did get a birthday present .... it was an Ipod, a white one...huuu, thanks dear

December
I was pregnant! the day that i visited my Gynea it was already 6 weeks... we were so blessed, felt like a birthday present for me, and of course Daania was the most happy one! Started my morning sickness....tu yg blog sunyi jek.huhu


January
This time my pregnancy was so much different, my morning sickness was severe and i constantly bleed...I was even admitted due to severe bleeding, but my baby was ok. My gynea detected i had cervical prolapse and that was the caused of my bleeding. Nothing can be done at that moment i just have to bare with it...it was ok for me as long my baby is ok

February
Celebrated mr.Radin's 31st Birthday. I surprised him with a Nikon Birthday Cake and for the first time, brought him to Marche @ The Curve.


The next day, i lost his wallet during our visit to Amcorp Mall.. kesian my hubby. A great day before that, a not so great day the day after :/


On the 23rd, my water broke on my 17 weeks of pregnancy, and the most unwanted news delivered by my doc.."tak boleh buat ape, baby tak boleh survive..we just have to wait till its hearbeat stop..hopefully die kluar sendiri" from the ultrasound result my uri was totally dried. At that moment, in front of my doc.. i was really blured, and dont know how to respon, i just iyerkan jek what he said. Than on my way to the ward, than it hits me... i burst into tears, i cried even louder when my husband hugged me... That night i couldnt sleep thinking of my baby, and still prayed hard for miracle.

The next day, my husband and daania came to visit before pegi JB sebab ada wedding job, i know he was so worried leaving me alone and so reluctant to go... but i understand, it's his job.. luckily my parents in law do came to visit, and my dad came to KL on that day. On the 24th morning, did an ultrasound and my baby still ada heartbeat, so nothing much can be done and i went back to my bed and rest...i just dont know what to expect at that time. Around 3pm... i started to have contraction and it was getting severe from time to time. Memang rasa macam nak bersalin...around 8pm, i was alone on my bed....the contraction was so severe and i felt like a bucket of blood and something solid came out..... and when the sister(nurse) came to check, she told me the baby is out. I requested to have a look at my baby.... it was a gurl, weight at 200gm and 6inches long, physically my baby dah sempurna....but she's gone. At that time i was truly redha for what happened.... terfikir juga... maybe this's the best for both of us as i did have few complications during this pregnancy.. I believe that Allah have better plans for us..InsyaAllah.

I followed my dad balik JB to buried my baby. Alhamdulillah, we managed to buried her next to my Arwah Mummy... thanks to org kubur for being an old friend to my parents, he even said something that realy touched " takpe, nanti boleh teman atok die" :'(


As for now.... besides redha for what happened to us, sometimes i do cried bile teringat balik... almost everyday. Naluri ibu i guess... physically im recovering, but emotionally not yet i guess... InsyaAllah i will. Thanks to doas, well wishers and support from relatives and friends.

March
At this moment still on my MC. My doc gave me 2 weeks MC untill this 7th...(not sure if its enough..hmm) Last thursday, my husband brought me to stay a night at a hotel, just to relax aka menenangkan jiwa... we stayed at Royal Chulan hotel. Wish to had a few days break kat mane2 resort sebenarnye, but im still tak sehat and weak, so in KL pun jadilah. Nak stay lame2 hubby ada wedding job at kelantan plak. It was a great stay there and our rezeki, they even upgraded our room from deluxe to royal club without additional cost...Alhamdulillah (mcm paham2 jek diorg ni yg kitorg tgh berduka...huhu) ....


to my hubby, thanks dear for taking care of me, tolong jaga daania, jaga rumah since my morning sickness started untill now... hope we'll be a stronger and better person. I kept on holding to this sms by my cousin kak yaya if i feel down.. "...bb will b in Jannah n she'll b waiting for u......dis shows that Allah sayang nana n die mduga hamba2Nya yg tpilih" InsyaAllah... Amin

p.s. All photos are hasil rembat from my hubby's fb, tq dear :D

A Week Has Passed

It’s has been a week now since my mom passed away or 11 days after my previous post about my mom. I believe that Allah has better plans for her..InsyaAllah. Last Tuesday in the afternoon I called my dad just to tell him that daania is having ulser in her mouth, during that call my dad did inform that he was on his way back to his clinic bringing along supplies of platelet from JSH for my mom due to her low level of platelet. My dad was calm and so was i….but suddenly at around 3pm I received a worry call from him saying my mom was critical and he asked me to come back to JB. Straight away I burst to tears because I knew this was not good.. And that was the first day my mom was hospitalized for 4 days till she passed away on Friday,14^th October 2011, just short of 6 days before my parents anniversary.

During her 3^rd day in the hospital, her platelet was dropping and she kept on asking for my little brother, Khaldoun who’s currently studying in India. I guess my Mummy knew she has not much time….my brother managed to arrive at the Hospital around 1130am on Friday, and yes.. my mom got to meet him. Actually she was holding on all that while just to meet Khaldoun…. By noon she asked the dr. to stop all the medication so that she could go home. At home…. My mom cant hardly say a word and she was very weak, all of us just doesn’t stop reciting the Kalimah Syahadah to her ears till her last breath at 4.45pm. She looks so calm.. even I thought that she was just started to sleep.

My mom…she’s such an inspirable person to everyone who knows her. In JB she’s best known with Mak Mah Tukang Mandi Jenazah or some may call her Datin Mayat ( I think because 1 day she went to a wedding with quite a bling bling baju kurung and suddenly she got to go straight to the mortuary :D) She’s not a ‘berkira’ person and has help so many people..some that I know and some aren’t, I know that because a lot of unfamiliar faces came to see her while she was in the hospital and at home, and even during the burial day.

At this very moment, I’m still in JB with my daughter to accompany my dad and my Aunty who took care of my mum. Everyday I visit my mom’s grave with my daania….and she would says “bubbye tokmi” while waving at my mom’s grave. Sometimes she did ask for her tok mi and know she will answers her own question “tok mi sleep”. Even yesterday, after her afternoon nap she cried out loud saying “nak tokmi, nak tokmi”…..and my heart just broke, and I will just carry her to my mom’s room laying on the left side of her bed which was my mom’s. A lot of my relative told me that I was strong for being composed almost all the time… I just have to because I want my mom to be in peace. Sometimes I do shed into tears especially before bed and during reciting the Quran , remembering all the happy moments with my mom

I’ll end my post here with a Doa by Prophet Mohammad (SAW.) ,recited this dua after the death of Abu Salama (R.A.) after closing his eyes

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِفُلَانِ وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي الْمَهْدِيِّينَ وَاخْلُفْهُ فِي عَقِبِهِ فِي الْغَابِرِينَ وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلَهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ وَأَفْسِحْ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيهِ

"O Allah, forgive (Salamah bt Alwee). Make him among the guided ones, raise his status and be his deputy among the grieving. O Lord of the two worlds, forgive us and him and make his grave wide and full of light".